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Summary: Well, if you had to do the same performance every year, you'd get bored too, wouldn't you?
Part One: When Cats are Maddened by the Repetitive Dance
"Are you blind when you're born? Can you see in the dark? Dare you look at a king? Would you sit on his throne? Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark? Are you cock of the walk when you're walking alone? Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do..."
Mistoffolees was bored. Very bored. Every year it was the same. The Jellicle ball was approaching, and oops, nobody planned anything, so it's same old, same old. Same songs, same dances, and those same pesky humans that keep on coming to watch. Oh well. They pay for the privilege. But they've been seeing the same thing every year. Now they were stuck practicing something they knew only too well. Even the littlest kittens were aware of what was going on.
"...Familiar with candle? With book and with bell? Were you Whittington's friend?... Where you Whittington's friend?"
"Mistoffolees!" Bombalurina hissed. "'The Pied Piper's assistant.' That's your cue?"
"Oh. Sorry. Wasn't paying attention," Mistoffolees said sheepishly.
"And it's no wonder," Mungojerrie complained. "I don't think we've done anything new since Old Deut was born. Can't we... I don't know..."
"Write some new songs?" Mistoffolees came in on cue that time.
"And choreograph some new dances, maybe?" Victoria piped up, coming up beside him.
"Yeah!"
Munkustrap considered a moment. "I don't see why not... Unless Old Deuteronomy's against it?"
"Well, it does go against tradition... but I guess it's okay by me. A change might be nice," Old Deuteronomy replied.
"Then we'll need some order," Munkustrap said. This statement was met by groans.
"Just like Munkustrap," Mistoffolees whispered to Victoria, who giggled until Munkustrap gave them both a nasty look.
"What I was going to say is, first we need to divide into groups. I mean, this is something people are paying to see, or else we wouldn't let them in... Which reminds me, the producers owe us catnip... Anyway, Mistoffolees, Victoria, Bombalurina, and oh, Rumpleteazer, how about you do any choreography, starting with dances without songs, until the songs are actually written. As for whose going to write those songs, how about me, Demeter, Cassandra..."
The cats began to assemble in their proper groups, which besides songwriting and choreography, included props, costumes, etc. Each group immediately began chattering excitedly, full of new ideas. Snatches of conversation floated above the workers. "Of course we need one about dogs... No, it's my turn to... unless she's against it... But I like explaining how we have moonlit eyes!"
Misto, Vicki, Bom, and Teazer were in a huddle. Being the only tom in the group, and a shy one at that, Misto looked around nervously. "Uh, what should we start with? I'll write." He produced pencil and paper.
Vicki thought. "Well, we'll need the big dance number..."
"And a M'cavity foight," Rumpleteazer added.
Bom pushed her. "C'mon, Teazer, you know you don't plan fights with Macavity! The last one was purely accidental. You don't ask for Macavity to come and push us around!"
"Well, ya don't need ta git yor bak up," Teazer complained.
Bom ignored her and grinned evilly. "Of course, we must have a pas de deux."
"Did we have one before?" Vicki asked, confused.
"Yes, you dummy!" Bom said, swatting at the white cat. "You and Plato, remember?"
Vicki blushed. "For the millionth time, I was just a kitten. I was new to adolescense and didn't know any better! I can't stand him anymore!"
"Well, regardless, we need a pas de deux. Like me and Tug-" She picked up the pencil.
Misto snatched it away. Bom hissed at him. "If you insist on a pas de whatever, I'll take care of it," he said as coolly as he could manage.
Bom forgot her anger in this new interest and smirked. "And what are you going to do, Misto? I don't exactly see you making moves on any queens like Tugger. You fixing yourself up with someone? Or playing some joke?"
"Shut up, Bom," Misto said, trying not to let anything show. "Here, you do the rest of the dances." Another pad of paper and flower, which quickly turned into a pencil, appeared in front of Vicki. "I'll work on this practical joke."
Munk, Demeter, Kashmir, and Cassie were working diligently on the songs. " We'll need one for each cat, as usual," said Munk, "deleting the Grizabella song, and perhaps giving some new cats songs? Plus a narrated story, something about dogs again, or Rumpus'll get mad."
Props had decided that they would have to somehow invade the area before the normal props people arrived. They always seemed to think the a big tire belonged in the center, and a car on one side... Who'd ever heard of such a thing?
After a little communication, the costumes got to work on the new dog outfits, and the choreographers did dances to the songs with lyrics. Misto finished with his "joke", and the props planned their attack on the stupid humans. As it turned out, nothing was necessary, because the humans, being cowards, were intimidated by one quick scratch from Tumblebrutus.
Everyone was given only the parts essential for them to know, so everyone watched each other with curiosity.
And it began. Like any normal performance. Demeter ran out, hissed in the headlights, and retreated to the drain pipe. Munkustrap appeared. Cassandra. Like any normal performance. But when Munk stood up, however, things began to get a little strange...
"Are you completely bored?" Well, they deserved some explanation.
"Do you crave something new?" Demeter.
"Are you curious daytime?" Skimble.
"But night time by far?" Asparagus.
"Are you ready for something you'll never forget?" Rum Tum Tugger. (You get the idea.)
"The time that we simply took over the show!" (This was sung by Victoria, since Grizabella was obviously not present.)
"Jellicles have, and Jellicles are, Jellicles have..." Mistoffelees was trying hard not to laugh at the expressions of the audience.
The song stopped there so they'd have time for the new songs, and they began to disperse, rubbing up on Munkustrap as they went. (They had decided to work on the skeleton of the old ball, but change the songs and dances and insert things here and there.) Munkustrap stepped up and began to explain things more fully.
"Jellicle cats meet once a year at the Jellicle ball where we all rejoice. But repeating it over and over, it's clear, can get very boring and mess up our voice. So we've gone and changed things, and added things too, for it's time to change things, as you may agree. But the Jellicle choice tradition still stands. Who will it be?"
"Who will it be?" some of the audience members repeated with the cats. Mungo screwed up his face and whispered to Teazer, "They get peskier every year."
Munkustrap had started to sing again. As you may remember, each cat got a song, but it was a new one. In order, it was Jennyanydots' turn.
"A Gumbie cat is short and fat. They sit and sit and sat and sat. They'll sit on a mat, or in a hat, and some just like to teach a rat. They can't climb trees, but are busy like bees, and make sure that they never, ever have fleas..." It went on in this fashion.
Misto leaned over to Vicki. "I think the lyrics need work." Vicki nodded and clamped her hand over her mouth to keep from giggling. The two plugged their ears and went into hysterics when Munkustrap glared at them. Jennyanydots seemed to find it all amusing.
Kashmir came up and stood beside Vicki. "Kashmir," Vicki giggled, "please do not tell me that you were a major part in writing Jenny's song."
Kashmir shrugged. "Vicki, if you think I said more than two words the whole entire time, you're nuts."
Suddenly a loud meow broke through the air. Munkustrap groaned. "Oh, no," he hissed to Demeter, "he's just cut off half of Jenny's dance number."
But Tugger was either oblivious or didn't care, because he launched right into his song.
An evil glint appeared in Misto's eye. Tumblebrutus noticed and slunk over. "So, Misto, what're you going to do?"
"Me?" Misto said innocently. "What gave you the idea I was going to do something?"
Tumble shook his head. "With you, Misto, it's always something." Misto pretended to be hurt, but Tumble grinned. "Plus, the gleam in your eye tipped me off to something."
Misto smiled. "Tumble, you know me well. Want to help?" Tumble nodded eagerly. "Then here's what we do..."
Tugger was in the middle of his song... "Contrary as I may be, if you're going to..." He didn't finish. Tumble had crept up from behind him and rocketed into the air, landing full force on Tugger, who toppled over. "...Get pounced on!" Tumble finished the phrase for Tugger. He scrammed before Tugger could hurt him.
Misto appeared next to Tugger. "Well, there you are, clumsy! Did you trip?" He helped Tugger up. "There, you should really be more careful. Why, if you fall over just singing, what would happen to you if, say, Tumble pounced on you?" Tugger started to protest, but Misto stopped him. "Now, now, you don't have to explain, I understand. Get on with your song."
Very annoyed, Tugger continued, with Misto copying every move he made behind him, in a much sillier version. Once or twice Tugger looked back, but no one was there. Finally, the song finished.
"Misto!" Jemima scolded the black cat. "That was a cheap trick to play on Tugger!"
Misto grinned wider. "Yeah, but it was funny!" Jemima cracked up.
Etcetera crossed her arms. "No it wasn't. Not if it made Tugger unhappy."
"Aw, Cetera, lighten up," Vicki laughed. "It was funny and you know it."
Misto blushed. "C'mon," he said hastily. "Bustopher Jones' song is next, and I'm in that. He'd be offended if I wasn't." He scurried off.
Vicki looked at Kashmir, who shrugged as innocently as possible, but the effect was lost because her green eyes were bright with an "I-know-something-you-don't-know" glow. Vicki raised an eyebrow but said nothing.
Kashmir switched subjects quickly. "Did you hear that Alonzo wanted to write Bustopher's song? It was the funniest thing! He was running around with tufts of Misto's hair on his head, singing, 'Bustopher Jones's the cat with the mostest' in this awful, out-of-tune voice!"
"I thought Alonzo was in costumes," Victoria said thoughtfully.
"He was, but he got bored and decided to help us out. You can imagine how much he helped us."
Vicki rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes. Just be thankful it wasn't Tumble or Pouncival."
"Aw, Tumble would have done something. Now, Pouncival, on the other hand..."
Kashmir was tapped on the shoulder by a spoon. The near-black brown kitten turned around slowly. Bustopher Jones looked into her face with a stern expression. "You are not attending!" he said.
Kashmir blushed and said meekly, "I'm sorry."
Bustopher nodded. "Return to the song," he addressed the rest.
"He's black and white, and day meets night, for the fashionable cat of the city. And finely-made spats are his trademark, you see, for a bright orange kind would make us giddy."
Vicki turned to Kashmir with a questioning look. Kashmir shrugged. "Next time, Munkustrap works in props." Vicki had to bite her lip to keep from giggling and offending Bustopher.
"He's not large, he's not fat, he's just rather big boned, so he tells us at least. Anyway, he's weighed in over thirty pounds; more, and he gained over ten yesterday."
Bustopher sat happily on his top hat and gestured to Misto, who grinned and shooed Tumblebrutus back into his place. Bustopher had no sooner opened his mouth to continue, when a gigantic crash echoed around the junkyard. "Macavity!" Demeter cried.
Munkustrap stood protectively for a few minutes, watching for Macavity. "Tugger!" he hissed at the Rum Tum Tugger, who was hiding behind him, "are you sure you put the cues in the right places?"
Tugger looked up. "Cues?"
Munkustrap groaned and retreated to the drain pipe. If he was not mistaken, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer would be clowning around next. They lacked the imagination to think up another opening. (Munkustrap refused to admit that his imagination was not the most brilliant.)
Sure enough, a giggle was heard, a very distinct and well-known giggle which could only belong to -
"I'm Rumpleteazer!" she of that name said, her head popping out of the inside of the tire.
"Hey! Mungojerrie should come first!" a barely audible hiss just met the cats' ears. "I'm Mungojerrie!" he said in a normal voice, with a glare in Teazer's direction. "And as you may have noticed..."
"We've stolen the props!" they recited together, and their song began.
"Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are truly cat-burgalars literally! We can steal a diamond, we can steal a toothbrush, we could steal the kneecaps right out of your knees! But although we would not normally admit it, making trouble's what we love to do! So please, won't you take a quick look around you, and see that the junkyard looks a little bit new!
"If the others come in for their Pollicle play and the looks on their faces are pure dismay, and they can't seem to find this plaid shoe or this hat, or somebody's shredded the welcome mat, if everything's missing, yes, everythings gone, and since Misto didn't do it it's not out on the lawn, and nothing you see, is where it's s'pposed to be - Then the Jellicles all say, it's those annoying cats! It was Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer - and they've stolen the props, we can't leave it at that!"
As the two started their next verse, Misto noticed a large pillow case behind the oven. He motioned to the others and pointed, and the rest of the cats nodded. Jerrie and Teazer were on their last, "...and they've stolen the props, we can't leave it at that!", and the Jellicles closed in, grabbing the bags of props. Jerrie and Teazer looked about desperately for a way out, but there was none, finally, they leapt to safety on top of the care trunk, and the props were put back in their proper places while Jerrie and Teazer were given a stern lecture by Munkustrap.
"That oughta learn 'em," Plato remarked to Quaxo, who nodded.
"Wait," Misto said, clapping his paw over Quaxo's mouth. "I believe it is Old Deuteronomy."
"Hey, that's our line!" Coricopat and Tantomile complained.
"We've switched things around this year, remember?" Misto said.
Munkustrap decided to cut them off and began to sing. "Old Deuteronomy's true to his name, and has lived many lives, one could not complain with the number he's lived, and this is the reason Old Deut's been the leader for many a season."
Tugger joined in. "Old Deuteronomy's seen many cats, the good and the bad and the change in the tribe, and he knows how to handle each problem with grace, and meets every challenge in his long, bold stride."
"If you see Deuteronomy walk down the street, you can bet that his followers walk in his wake, and he's gaurded you I tell you, and I would know, quite carefully, and I could make no mistake."
By this time Misto had escorted Deuteronomy to his seat on the tire, and his clear voice rang out among the viewers. "Jellicles, I do greet you, and man, I do know, that this ball will start many things new for the clan."
Kashmir squealed excitedly. "Yes! This is the good part," she told Vicki and Jemima as the scurried to find their costumes.
"What's the good part?" asked Electra as she came up to get her costume.
"Of the Aweful Battle of the Cats and the Ugly Pekes!" Kashmir said as she put on a dog mask. "Here's your mask, Electra."
"The what?" Jemima asked, confused.
"You'll see. Now, you play - surprise! - a Peke! Here's your mask, too. And here's your costume, Vicki."
Vicki looked down at Kashmir's empty paws. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It's supposed to mean that you have no costume because you're playing yourself. Misto rescues you, remember?"
"Oh! I see now!" Vicki said, nodding her head in comprehension.
"I still don't get it," Electra and Jemima said in unison.
"Like I said, you'll see," Kashmir told them. "Now let's go or you won't see, let alone play a Peke."
They raced back just in time to see Munkustrap begin this year's Play for Old Deuteronomy's Enjoyment.
"Oh the Awefull Battle of the Cats and the Ugly Pekes, with No Participation of the Pugs and the Poms, and the Intervention of the Great Sam the Cat!
"The cats and the ugly Pekes, everyone knows, are way more than simply a pair of plain foes, and their rivalry ceases when the sun will explode! And this is the story, as you might well know, of a large gray non-Jellicle, Sam he was known. He's no longer seen around in these parts, but his story is acted out, right from our hearts. And we'll bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, until Sam can hear us, a sound in the dark.
"Now, Misto was originally thee who found Sam, while hunting about for a dog with a scam, and he brought his new friend along, so he could stand gaurd on the Pekes as the took over the land. And they'd bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, until they would rival the sound of a Snark."
"What's a Snark?" Etcetera whispered to Kashmir as they took their doggy place on the stage.
"It's from 'Through the Looking Glass'," Kashmir explained. "Keep listening."
"Now as cats we could not let a Peke just take over, and we took up a warpath and trampled the clover. We marched to the campsite and let out a yell, and we started to fight with the Pekes, and quite well. But we couldn't defeat them as simply as that, so who came to the rescue but..."
"The great Sam the cat!"
All the time during the song, the cats, playing dogs, had been acting out the story. Plato had been honored with the part of Sam, which made him very happy. Plato was a cat of rather low self-esteem. He bounced in, but unlike with the Rumpus Cat play last year, all activity didn't stop. Munkustrap resumed singing.
"Sam was here to save the day, and he started in a quite normal way. Vicki had been captured, and Misto would save her, but without some help he felt that his brain would just quaver."
Tumblebrutus, in an especially ugly Peke mask, jumped in front of Vicki, who was sitting in the drain pipe. He growled. "I'm your captor," he then explained in a normal voice. Vicki tried hard to stay in character and not laugh.
"So Sam watched the black cat's back faithfully, and so Misto attacked the gaurd Peke, don't you see."
Poof! Misto appeared before Tumble. "This is where I come in!" he said, and he and Tumble performed a mock battle until Tumble pretended to die. When this was over, Munkustrap started up again.
"But the major accomplishment had not yet went. Attacked by the chief Peke, and pretty well spent, I was fighting for life, and I needed help quick. Then Sam came to my aid, yes Sam was then there! And the chief Peke was dead, to the Pekes were dismayed. So we won, won, won, won, won, won, won, won, with Sam's help a war quite as bad as Bull Run!"
And all the Jellicles took a bow. Deuteronomy stood. "Jellicles, it has come to my attention, that a new Jellicle, object of Tumble's affection, has come to this tribe, and not faced a rejection, and now has a song, and I hear it's perfection!"
"In other words, it's your turn, Kashmir," Tumble said, poking the cat in her ribs.
"It is?" Kashmir squeaked. "Can we re-negotiate?"
But it was too late. She had already been pushed to the middle of the junkyard. She sat down hard, but knew she had to sing. She opened her mouth, and forced the words out. They were quiet, but sweet.
"I am small, I am quiet, my coat's very dark, but my herit'ge's rich with the lives of the Irish, and my eyes glow bright green with the grass's reflection, and the tales that I tell are worth listening to, I hear.
"I have not much to say until you get to know me, but my humor, I'm told, is unique, so they say. But in winter my heart reaches out for my Ireland, and it's song of it's future, and the past it will say."
This year it was Kashmir's turn to work with the fabled Gus, and he was led out for the rest of the song. Kashmir back up and hissed at Skimbleshanks, "Remind me again how you convinced me to act out 'Skibbereen'." Skimble grinned but couldn't answer, and Kashmir went back to her place.
The little cat knelt by Gus and looked at him with the trusting innocence of a naive young child. "Oh Father dear, I oftimes heard you talk of Erin's Isle, her valleys green, her lofty scene, her mountains rude and wild. You said it was a pleasant place, wherein a prince might dwell. Why have you then foresaken her, the reason to me tell."
Gus made a feeble attempt to rise. "Daughter, I love our native land with energy and pride until a blight fell on the land, and sheep and cattle died. The rents and taxes were to pay, I could not them redeem, and that't the cruel reason why I left Old Skibbereen.
"It's well I do remember on a bleak November's day, the landlord and his agent came to drive us all away. He set my house on fire with his demon yellow spleen, and that's another reason why I left Old Skibbereen."
All throughout the song the Jellicles performed the words in the background. (If you want the entire poem, see Her Mountains Rude and Wild.) Finally, Kashmir stood up from her position at Gus's knee and finished it all off.
"Oh Father dear, the day will come when vengeance loud will call. And we will rise with Erin's boys and rally one and all! I'll be the one to lead the van, beneath our flag of green, and loud and high we'll raise our cry, "Revenge for Skibbereen!"
(Kashmir's note: I'm sorry, you must be really sick of that song by now, but I just love it, so I had to include it. I think it fits the plot.)
When the song was finished, Kashmir immediately ran back to the sidelines and hid behind Tumble and Vicki.
Tumble turned around and grinned at her. "I just heard that you were supposed to do a little Irish reel for us," he teased.
"Yeah right!" Kashmir exclaimed. "Now be quiet. It's time for the ball."
They ran back out to the junkyard, where Kashmir was much more comfortable now that she wasn't in the spotlight. "I don't know," Kashmir whispered to Vicki, "but I think the choreography is to good for the songs." Vicki grinned, but she was obviously preoccupied.
"What's the matter?" Kashmir asked, moving to dance beside her friend. If you've ever tried it, it's very hard to carry on a conversation with someone who's behind you and can't turn around.
"Oh nothing. I just think Misto's going to pull a fast one on me."
"Misto? Misto? You mean the shy, black cat who no one ever notices? Practical joking on Victoria? Are we talking about the same cat here?"
"Yes," Victoria said testily. She explained Misto's "practical joke". "He choreographed the pas de deux for me and somebody else. I was given my dance steps and everything, but it just says 'cat X' on the paper."
"Hmmm," Kashmir mused. "Hmmm, hmmm, hm hm hm... I wonder..."
"Wonder what?" Vicki demanded sharply.
"Well, we'll see. It's coming up in a minute."
A moment later, Vicki was standing in the center of the stage. The other cats had dispersed, and Vicki looked around for Misto's face, trying to see if she could read into what humiliation he was going to put her through, but she couldn't find the black cat. "Must be blending in somewhere," she thought.
As instructed, she turned around, closed her eyes, and waited. She felt a cat lift her by the waist and carry her above his head. "He probably put me with Plato again, after what I said about not liking him anymore," Vicki thought. "Or maybe Tugger, and now Etcetera and Bomb will kill me." At the correct time, she threw her head back and opened her eyes. She gasped.
"Surprise!" Misto whispered.
"Misto?"
"I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you, but it's my turn," he said wryly as he put her down.
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that-"
"That's quite all right," Misto said graciously. "I understand. Now, if you would care for me to turn you over to any other tom you like, I shall do so without any complaints."
"No, Misto, you don't need to do that..." Vicki's thoughts we whirling around in her head. They finished the dance, and Misto turned bright red.
"Thank you," he mumbled, and scurried away before Vicki could say a word. Still thinking hard, she backed into the drain pipe.
"Well," said Kashmir from behind her, startling the white cat. "Well, well. My suspicions were correct."
Victoria looked up. "What do you think it means?"
"Means? Why, the only thing it means is that yet another tom is crazy for you. That's nothing new. Most are."
"You know what I meant." Vicki glared at her friend, frustrated. "Could you be serious for one moment?"
"I can try," Kashmir said. "Results are not guaranteed."
"Oh, just forget it," Vicki said, and went back out to dance. Misto was nowhere in sight.
art Two: Why Will Macavity Delay - It's Hard to Lay in Wait, I Say
When the dance was done, the cats began to relax upon the floor, stretching and thinking about, besides their names, what was to come. Jellylorum once again led Gus out for his song, without the play in the middle, because he had already performed with Kashmir. All activity stopped. A moment later, there began a moderate frenzy of activity as the Jellicles tried to find a comfortable place to settle down and listen.
Victoria crept up over the car trunk. She looked down and smiled in triumph. "Misto," she whispered. "I say, Misto!" The black cat's head popped up for a moment, but he immediately hid it under his paw.
Vicki jumped down to sit beside him. "Gus's song is starting," she told him. When Misto merely nodded, she tried again. "Something wrong?" she asked in her best Jennyanydots manner. Misto shook his head, and then nodded it. Then a muffled, bitter laugh rose from his form.
"I'm no better than a kitten," he ridiculed himself without moving his head. Suddenly, his body seemed to slip into high gear, and from a curled up position he propelled himself onto the trunk of the car. Vicki followed, and the sat down to listen to Gus.
As usual, Jelly was singing Gus's song, for who else would Gus want to do it? "Gus sits silent sentinel by theater entrance, and makes sure you always pay at least a tuppence to see the greatest stars of the here and the now, for he once was a star, too, though you may wonder how.
"He has acted with all greats of our century, and they all did applaud him, for he's a great, too, you see, and his favorite by far, yes, by great leaps and bells, was Firefrofiddle, the fiend of the fell."
Gus feebly began his part. "If you ask me to tell you any theater tale, you can bet I will know it, by heart, pretty well. For I've seen such productions, so many, so much, by the Welsh and the German, the Irish and Dutch, but none could surpass me, as any will tell, as Firefrofiddle, the fiend of the fell."
Everyone applauded wildly for Gus as he left the stage. "Now for Uncle Skimble!" said Kashmir. She was quite fond of her Uncle, even though he made her sing at the most inopportune times. Old Deuteronomy began to sing, and Kashmir jumped in.
"Skimbleshanks the Railway cat, the cat of the railway train! You can wait up by the gate, but the train will not be late, as long as Skimble's well aboard. If you do not pay your fare, Skimble will not take you there, unless you will agree to be chore'd."
As the song continued, Kashmir shuffled backward carefully. Last year, there had been a, um, riot? Right about this time, and Kashmir wasn't taking any chances. She was a rather timid cat, you know, and a little uneasy if she didn't feel safe. She looked to the right. Left. Behind her, in front of her. Up.
"Macavity!" Kashmir and Demeter cried, and Kashmir shot forward and hid behind Tumble.
Macavity came forward, weaving his way inbetween the junk. "Well, well, well," he thought to himself. "I kidnapped Old Deuteronomy last year, and to repeat it would be too predicatable. Munkustrap would flay me alive if I went after Demeter. I'd love to grab that black mongrel, but he'd slip away in a puff of smoke, literally. So why don't I go for... Gus!" He grabbed the feeble old cat and took off, his rats guarding his back.
Everybody split. Demeter and Bomb sighed. They had been hoping they wouldn't have to sing about Macavity, and they were going to have to make something up on the spot. Demeter began with a shuddering breath. "Macavity's a fearsome cat, don't you dare mess with him. He'll hold a grudge like anything, and his revenge is grim. He will steal away most anything, and constantly will swear, but when the crime's discovered then, Macavity's not there! Macavity, Macavity, there's no cat quite as bad as he. He kidnap anyone he likes, I've got a feeling he wants me. If he grabs you, then be certain, your life is not a care, and when they reach the scene of crime, Macavity's not there!"
"Macavity's a ginger cat, and large but slender's he, he's really quite intelligent, got A's in school, you see. But that was the school of robbery, with a locksmith course on there, but when they reach the same of crime, Macavity's not there! Macavity, Macavity, this cat has got no sympathy, and if you want my opinion, there is no heart inside him, see, his actions are not virtuous, but ghastly, if you dare, but when the crime's discovered then, Macavity's not there!"
Misto made his way over to Munkustrap. "Am I going to have to do this again? What happens if I fail? What'll I do if she-"
Munkustrap put his paws on Misto's shoulders. "Relax, Misto. If you worry to much, you may very well fail. Now, just go with the flow. You'll be fine." He released his friend, who slunk off into the darkness.
"When a crime's discovered then, Macavity's not there!"
They waited anxiously for Macavity's return, but he didn't come. Tugger jumped down. "You ought to - Oh, forget the introductions," he said. "Mistoffelees, do your stuff!"
A shimmer of sparkles began to glimmer in the air, and Tugger began. "A shyer cat you never have seen. Magic, as if from a dream. He can get where he's going in no time, and be gone before he's even seen. With cards and with dice he's amazing, some say incomparable, too, and he's smarter than anyone, smarter than me and most certainly smarter than you. And his chorus says better than I can what we think of this magical guy, so without changing anything different, I urge, listen, and why: 'cause regardless of anything we have altered, I cannot explain but with last year's same:
"Oh! Well, I never. Was there ever a cat so clever as magical Mr. Mistoffelees!"
By this time the glimmer had most definitely turn into Mistoffelees, and since he didn't know what else to do but dance, he danced.
And how.
"And now, let me repeat, Mistoffelees, do your stuff!"
And here it could be written how Mistoffelees was so darned scared that he completely forgot how to use any of his magic, not even a simple card trick, let alone save Gus, and so Macavity killed Gus and Misto was in disgrace forever.
It could be written, but it won't.
Because it simply wouldn't be true.
At least, I don't think it would be true, because a moment later, there was Gus, very happy to see everyone, not to mention very relieved to be out of Macavity's lair, and there in that lair was Macavity, very angry at Misto for spoiling his plot once again, and everyone was very happy, and how long will this run-on sentence continue?
Kashmir and Jemima both stood. "Sunlight, from the dawn that is breaking, and the sun that is setting at the very same time. For when dawn comes, the time has come for one special choice, and a new day to begin."
Dueteronomy spoke one word: Guess.
No, he didn't say guess. (That's a hint.) Can you guess which name he uttered?
If you didn't say Gus, I'm frightened.
And so, Old Deuteronomy spoke one word: "Gus."
And up he went. Past the Jellicle moon, to the Heaviside layer.
To meet Grizabella.
And everyone was happy. Especially Misto and Vicki.
And so the ball was almost to a close. But one song remained.
"You've heard of several kinds of cat, and my opinion now is that you're surely no interpreter to understand our character..."
So this is this, and that is that and there's how the Ball was changed by the cats!