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Summary: I wrote this play for English class. Can you guess where the inspiration came from? :)
Characters:
GWEN MULLIGAN: Gwen is shy and quiet. She prefers the company of animals to people. She is also intelligent and knows when something needs to be done.
MISTO: Misto is Gwen's cat. He has the ability to talk, and uses it. He is smart and humorous, but has trouble figuring out when to quit the comedy act.
AMELIA (AMY) MULLIGAN: Amy is Gwen's older sister. She is mature and unimaginative, and thinks that Gwen is insane.
ZOEY SAMMEN: Zoey is the leader of the high school's 'in-crowd', and does her best to make Gwen's life miserable. She is snobby and self-satisfied, and dislikes anything she didn't think of herself.
ACT 1, SCENE 1
(A girl's bedroom is set up on the stage. It has a plain wooden bed, desk, and chair. A CD player is sitting on the desk. Misto is on the bed. Gwen enters right, dumping her backpack on the bed, almost hitting Misto in the process. Gwen falls back into the chair with a thump.)
MISTO; So, Gwen... Another exciting day at school?
GWEN; (glares)
MISTO; And how's your good friend Zoey?
GWEN; (picks up CD player headphones and puts them on. She startes to hum.) I can't
hear you.
MISTO; (jumps off the bed and onto the desk. He examines the CD player.) Sure you
can. There's no music playing.
GWEN; (glares again and hits the 'play' button.)
MISTO; So what did best friend Zoey do now?
GWEN; (hits 'stop' and takes the headphones off with a sigh.) Knock it off, will you,
Misto? You know what Zoey's like. If it's not my clothes, it's my hair. If it's neither
of those, it's my unpopularity. In fact, I don't think it's a day for Zoey if she can't
bother me. She's anything but my best friend.
MISTO; (jumps back up on the bed and curls up.) I'm your best friend.
GWEN; (laughs) Kind of sad, isn't it.
MISTO; (in a miffed tone.) I don't see how.
GWEN; Will you do me a favor and stop talking about Zoey? She does live in this
apartment building, you know.
MISTO; (looks horrified) She does? (starts running around with his paws to his throat
and his eyes wide) Air filter! Air filter! The building is contaminated!
GWEN; (rolls her eyes.) Relax, Misto. She's undoubtedly out with the 'popular' crowd
doing 'popular' things.
MISTO; What, and you aren't popular?
GWEN; Not with people.
MISTO; Yeah, well, cats are more fun.
GWEN; Uh huh. Then why am I left with nothing to do with math problems while you're
in the room?
MISTO; I need bribery. Got tuna?
GWEN; If I gave you a whole filet of salmon, would you go kill Zoey the Super Snob
for me?
MISTO; With pleasure, but I'd rather not spend the rest of my life in jail.
BLACKOUT
ACT 1 SCENE 2
(Gwen enters right into a school hallway with her backpack. She begins to unload her books. Zoey comes up and stands behind her. Noticing Zoey's shadow, Gwen stands up and turns around.)
ZOEY; (tossing her head) You need a haircut.
GWEN; It's not polite to make personal remarks.
ZOEY; (shrugs) So?
GWEN; Oh, that was snappy repartee.
ZOEY; Huh? What do you do, read the dictionary?
GWEN; (sighs) No. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to read a comic strip.
ZOEY; Yeah, all it takes is a freak who talks to her cat. See you around, Gwennie.
GWEN; Don't call me... Hey, wait! What was that about me talking to my cat? Who's
been spreading that rumor?
ZOEY; (sweetly) Rumor? What rumor? That information was given to me courtesy of
someone who is an expert in the field. (pauses for effect.) Amy.
GWEN; (in a furious voice) My sister?
ACT 1, SCENE 3
(Amy is sitting on her bed doing homework. Gwen storms in and plops down on the bed.)
AMY; (looks up) Hey Gwen. What's up?
GWEN; (glaring) Since when did you have permission to relay my personal information
to Zoey Sammen?
AMY; Zoey who?
GWEN; Zoey who's brother you're dating!
AMY; Oh. What about him?
GWEN; Her. Zoey.
AMY; Zoey? Oh, she asks about you all the time. I've been under the impression that
she's practically your best friend.
GWEN; Yeah, right. Why'd you tell her I talk to my cat?
AMY; Well, don't you?
GWEN; Listen, Amelia Mulligan, whether I do or not, you have no right to be
announcing it everywhere.
AMY; It's time you stopped that silly habit anyway. It's not like he talks back.
GWEN; How do you know?
AMY; Gwen, you are absolutely insane. (gets up, grabs her books, and exits.)
BLACKOUT
ACT 1 SCENE 4
(Gwen enters her room from right, fuming. Misto is once again sitting on the bed.)
MISTO; Hey, Gwen! Where've you been?
GWEN; (slumps down in chair) Shut up, Misto.
MISTO; I'm a cat. I can't shut up.
GWEN; Try.
MISTO; What'd Zoey do now?
GWEN; Amy told her I talk to you.
MISTO; (indignant) And what, may I ask, is wrong with that?
GWEN; (exasperated) Misto!
MISTO; All right, all right. You could drop an anvil on her head, or try sticking her in
the freezer for a month, or -
GWEN; Misto.
MISTO; Fine. There's one thing you can try... Something so innocent she won't be able
to believe it.
GWEN; Oh?
MISTO; Get her a cat.
BLACKOUT
ACT 1, SCENE 5
(Zoey is sitting in a room with a table and two chairs. The doorbell rings, and Gwen enters with Misto.)
ZOEY; (genuinely surprised) Gwen? What're you doing here?
GWEN; Hi, Zoey. I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to do me a favor?
ZOEY; (narrows her eyes) Like?
GWEN; I was wondering if you'd mind watching my cat for just a moment? I need to run
down to the store.
ZOEY; (sighs) I guess so.
GWEN; (exits)
MISTO; (starts to walk around) Hey, nice place. Got any tuna? Gwen just gives me that
stupid 'Nine Lives' stuff. No flavor at all. I mean, the chicken and liver tastes like
transmission fluid. I tried to drink that once when I was a kitten, and the taste is
frighteningly similar. Or maybe you have a stock of salmon somewhere?
ZOEY; (stares) You... talk?
MISTO; Well, of course I talk. Gwen and I have conversations all the time. Have any
catnip? You must have a scratching post. A home without a scratching post is no
home at all.
ZOEY; But you're a cat. What do you talk about? Maybe you could help me with my
homework, cat. What's your name again? I have this killer exam on Tuesday.
GWEN; (enters) What are you doing? Talking to my cat?
ZOEY; (jaw drops) I...
GWEN; (shakes her head) You know, you really should try to break such a silly habit.
It's not as if he could talk back, you know. (She and Misto exit.)
BLACKOUT
THE END!